Autumn
Trees on fire
Leaves float like embers
To blanket the ground below
Damp and dewy with morning
Blue skies glow
And marshmallow clouds overhead
Dangle precariously
Breezes rise and fall
Warm with the memory of summer
And chilled by the crisp air of winter
Lungs inhale the smoky trace
Of fireplaces beginning to burn
Blankets yearn to warm
Feet that scamper
To hide beneath
Rubbing themselves together
Like sticks
At summer’s last bonfire
His was a heart she couldn’t hold
Though he grasped at her like a spider
Clinging, clinging
Hers was a heart he couldn’t hold
Always cutting himself on the broken shards
Bleeding, bleeding
Thiers was a love of timeless end
So much of romance and valentines
Lovers, lovers
His were the needs of a greedy child
Always a new need to satisfy
Wanting, wanting
Hers were the needs of a broken doll
Attempting to fix the unfixable
Broken, broken
Theirs was a love whose fight was relentless
Same drama, different day
Love meets pain, repeat
She had a heart shaped face
And he said he loved her
So they said I do
She had a heart shaped bruise
But he had a hard day
So she stood back up and made dinner
She had a heart shaped charm
That he gave her and begged her forgiveness
So she decided to give him one more chance
She had a heart shaped journal
And she spoke in it what she couldn’t admit aloud
So she tucked it away to hide
She had a heart shaped stone
And her friends went there to mourn her
Now she won’t have to get up again
The glass sits neat
On the elegant linen coaster
Golden liquid stares
Enticing and unrelenting
Fine crafted glass heavy and thick
Hard to hold in an unsteady hand
First swallow met with grimace
Harsh chemical sedative
Follows up smooth and woody
And makes it hard to resist
Glass doesn’t see the counter
Until it’s clear of liquid gold
Mirror behind the bar reveals
The toll of the tonic
Stagger into the street
Fresh air is welcomed but shunned
Collapse in a crumpled haze
And awake to a ringing skull
For a moment all was forgotten
For a moment the pain was dulled
Find the way back to the place
Where the moments faded
To blissful black
Don’t need to be more than you are
A reflection on a screen
Make ‘em laugh or make ‘em think
And live the everyman’s dream
Don’t need to be more than you are
Though they build an alter to you
Judged for good and bad
No matter what you do
The art is what should matter
The art is what takes you there
The art is the thing you create
With the everyman you share
Reap the rewards you sow
But you also reap the pain
It matters not to the everyman
They only see your gain
What you have is hard fought
And bleeds you at every turn
Seeing only what he wants to see
The everyman’s envy burns
Angels wait to greet you
As you surface in this place
Unsettled understanding
Drifts across your face
That final choice you made
To end the endless pain
A sin in the eyes of many
Your soul now has a stain
The light before you shimmers
Glorious warming light
The pain you felt, it melts away
As the angels hold you tight
Embraced by those who knew you
But left you long ago
Surround you now delighted
With new love now to show
So needed when alive
So loved and missed by all
The angels here to guide you
Will never let you fall
Don’t try to judge illness unless you have been in it…
RIP Mr Williams…..
Cloaked in a tapestry of misery
Where no shade of darkness is enough
To hide you from what seeks you
Just beyond that door
Voices rise and fade
Frustrated with the pity
And the apathy that hangs
Heavy in an airless room
They reach for you swiftly
But pull back in hesitation
Terrified to be pulled down with you
Into this hole of sadness
You feed this hunger
And its grip releases momentarily
Only to snap itself shut suddenly
With bear trap ferocity
You remain unchained but shackled
You remain ungagged but speechless
And your tears are nothing more
Than falling reminders
Of the moments that it steals
For Nicole, Rita and too many to mention…..
The answers you sought
Linger in the questions
You left behind
The light you couldn’t find
Peaks through the darkness
In the hearts broken by your choice
The emptiness you escaped
Belongs now to those
Who just can’t seem to be free
That scar left on your soul
Deepens in those left behind
Moss grows thicker on the stone
And that choice you made
Like a ripple
Touches more than you knew
Your solution
Created more anguish
For those who were never given
A choice like that to make
Twisted weeds of lust
Entwine and choke the calm
Out of the quiet garden setting
Vapid but potent desire
Overwhelm the simple bud
And overpower what is good
The air is still
Under tangled weeds of sin
The wrongness of it
Only makes desire grow
Unexpected delight in agony
No refuge for those
Not strong enough to say no
No love grows here
No beauty or faith
Only pure misery
And such exquisite delight
This is not a block
Staring at the blank white paper
Thoughts too many crowded
In a brain that is overwhelmed
This is not a block
Struggling to find a muse
Within every stroke of the pen
In hesitation and apprehension
This is not a block
Running through the words
That seem to scatter
When an idea comes too near
This is not a block
Starving to say what seems unspeakable
Staring silent back from
This stark white empty sheet
This is simply denial
Spilled out across the emptiness
Hidden in plain sight
There for all to read
bluefalling 