There you stand
Beside him as he disappears
He pledged himself
At the altar of addition
Now you watch the withering
Before your weary eyes
While his choices choose
To drag you down
The road of guilt and rage
Your silent scream
Hides behind your teary eyes
Paint that smile, wipe up those floors
Hear that promise, hold up that lie
His love is in there somewhere
Drowning like the both of you
In the addicts river
Off the beaten path
Where the sweet smell of decay
Wafted up
Towards the slate grey autumn sky
The Traveler kicked the recent living
And newly dead leaves
Across where his sinking footprints had marked
The murky earth below
In a few weeks this evidence would be consumed
And lost forever
As his latest was now
Flaxen hair had gripped the leaves
In moments on the ground
Grasping and clinging long after
The soil settled back over
Where his footprints were erased
Insecurities
They bleed
Will I, Should I, If I, Could I
Twist my mind by day
Race with it by night
How do I stop
This unstoppable thing
This weakness born of suffering
Neglect
At the hands of those
Who installed
These hypothetic and pathetic
Ticks
Of a clock that winds its way to doomsday
Will it, won’t it
Be my fault, my shame, my
Silly bleeding thoughts
Dripping, running, pooling
Insecurities
Small town termite
Wears her sadness like a trophy
Weathered lines of disregard and suffering
Empty out your pain for all to see
Seek pity from your neighbor
But his lines wear deeper than yours
Competitive sadness is the race of your race
Empty bottles and hearts
No more promises to break
Fill your cart at the big box
With those things you could never escape
Orange flakes of fake cheese dust
Scatter across the floor
And the hand dives back in for more
Broken rubber wheels shimmy and shake
The early death rattle
Blue light special is just an aisle away
Again, this one is for a friend, and I am hoping she will know this is for her. In truth it is for anyone who has come back from this; we judge ourselves too much.
Sad haunted eyes
Spirit splintered grin
Just a breath from tears
Fight the pain within
Wild child fury
Rage against the past
Hold onto the hope
Those memories won’t last
Somehow this spank and sting
Is different from the fist
A pain you can control
The choice is yours not his
When you gaze at your reflection
Judge your choices; can’t forgive
You rescued yourself from terror
And found the strength to live
This was written with one specific person in mind, but perhaps its best to rather show my gratitude for all the women in my life instead.
She moves within the summers breeze
With such a gentle carefree ease
Her pure heart is made of light
Cast no shadows in her sight
Ethereal angel from above
To fill your sadness up with love
She is there through pain and strife
Just so blessed she’s in my life
Mother, daughter, friend so true
May never know what she means to you
Hides her angel wings so well
But even strangers, they can tell
Vessel soft with strength inside
Her spirit rises like the tide
If you’re her friend you know your gifted
Because with her your spirit’s lifted
They say you are danger
But you patch me up
And course through me in welcomed ways
They say you could kill me
Plastic poison against my skin
Dulling the agony within
They say you are a destroyer
And talk to me of the addicts curse
But I don’t feel that burden of proof
The relief I need and get from you
I only speak of when necessity bleeds
Otherwise they envision you with me
Huddled against some dirty wall
Worthless and cast aside
Begging or pleading for more of you
You tiny plastic man made shame
And the only relief worth a damn
There’s a dusty road to nowhere
Between small towns all the same
Where the Traveler goes wandering
In search of his next game
They never see him coming
Seems to blend within the crowd
Hiding in plain site
Beneath his demon shroud
They live within his terror
Til the mystery runs cold
He waits in patience silent
Til he’s just a story told
He still prowls the shadows
Gossip never tells what’s real
Driving down that dusty road
Searching for a soul to steal
Fragrant hill top hide a way
Just a few short miles from town
Filled with cars and lovers
And summer evening sounds
Children play adult games
Locking lips and losing time
Girls seek to find Romeo
While boys just cross the line
Gravel snaps beneath
The Travelers tires on the prowl
Unaware at make-out point
They can’t hear him howl
He’ll choose a spot that’s dark
Where moonbeams cannot see
Then wait for his signal
As to who his prey will be
It may take all night
But time is on his side
They will never see it coming
Where life and death collide
Dusty prairie open wide
From the land stand side by side
Trust Mother Earth and treat her well
Reap and sow as time would tell
Came a force that took apart
All you built and broke your heart
Ripped the child from the mother
Couldn’t save or help your brother
While they tried to fix and save
All they did was just enslave
To your knees they made you fall
They ignored your anguished call
Still you danced with colors bright
Will not let them win this fight
Culture strong and drum beat loud
Voices rise above the clouds
Cannot erase the history
But still can come your victory
Use the pain to keep you strong
Plant your feet where you belong
bluefalling 