First to Last Lessons by Linda V

Mar2

Watching her slip from me

This woman I no longer know

A faded vessel of substance and grace

Whose first lessons bore within me

A resistance to pain

A stoic and relentless desire to be loved

I crave from her the words she won’t say

Words she doesn’t know anymore

Pain eats at her heart but no longer holds me captive

I have made the choice, to not always find the darkness

In its encapsulating draw

It pulls at me, in the darkness of night

Calling me to come and wallow in its discomfort

An ache for the pain of normalcy

The familiarity of anxiety and worry

I fight it

I fight her, not with words or actions but with belief

Not all is lost, hope can abound

Even if she is lost to me – those first lessons hold fast

Against the coming of the night

To Daddy by Linda V

Mar2

His was always the love I craved

But my heart could never touch his

His was always the handed I needed to hold

But he would not reach for me

His were always the eyes I saw myself in

But he would not return my gaze

I gave the world all that I could

And fought to stand on my own two feet

His was always the praise I sought

But he turned a blind eye to my accomplishments

His cold blank stare kept me at a distance

His arms folded decidedly against his chest

His heart turned black at the mention of my name

His love was never meant to be mine

He might have given me life

But he gave up on me long before

I knew what it would mean to lose him

Dad by Linda V

Mar2

He was as he is now

A memory set to life

By the movie in my mind’s eye

I miss him

But hated how he left me

With a child who was barely a woman

And never the parent I needed

I understood long after

That his blood flowed within me

His ideas intertwined with my own

His vision opened my eyes

To the man I needed to be

And my understanding has changed

Grown up with the little boy

He left behind

Cancer by Linda V

Mar2

I am the fear that makes you cower

In the darkness of the night

I am an evil found within you

Don’t care if you’re black or white

The light that lives inside you

Will die by my desire

To reduce the strength within you

To the embers of a fire

You can try and fight against me

With your poison soaked with pain

But even if you push me out

I will return again

I will take all that you love

I have no conscience and no soul

I am an empty sucking nightmare

I am an endless empty hole

Born of the devil’s dream

To take you all the same

I am an evil in your body

And Cancer is my name

Kaleidoscope by Linda V

Mar2

Love through the kaleidoscope

Not as simple as it seems

Romantics just see the colours

Get wrapped up within the dream

Ever changing shapes transfix

The viewer in a glance

The twists and turns of love

Can make you dizzy from the dance

The road of love is rocky

It’s what the kaleidoscope can hide

Blind belief in love is tempting

When two hearts first collide

Many lovers come undone

Give in to their desire

The kaleidoscope of misery

Shows the peril of love’s fire

Ghosts by Linda V

Mar2

His hands are a distant memory

But they linger on her skin

Like a ghost below the surface

Stinging reminder of the sin

His eyes no longer pierce her soul

No longer hold her gaze

All that’s left is the memory

Of some dark forbidden haze

What they had was fleeting

But that moment burned its brand

Feels more like just a rumor now

In some distant foreign land

Still the embers burn within them

Yet there is no going back

They’ve both found that passion with another

As those memories fade to black

Exit Sign by Linda V

Mar2

You look around in wonder

How did I get here?

Hide your eyes from the glances of the others

Bitter judgement of the choices you made

In the name of love

Remember when he said forever

And you thought he meant happiness

Not the misery you lived

You think

It’s your fault

Because you couldn’t fix the myriad of pain he felt

He caused you

But your shame goes well

With your hospital gown

Falls open at the back but only exposes the blackness

Of his soul

You wonder if that sign above that door that reads Exit

Really is

Or is it just the doorway back to Hell?

Once you were strong

Once you believed in yourself

You look around in wonder

Where is she now?

Dream Cafe by Linda V

Mar2

The glass of wine sits too comfortably

In her hand

As she glances at her ring finger

So hauntingly bare

His love is enough to hold her

In these moments of her fading youth

The liquid in the glass swirls

And her mind takes her to a place of dreams

Where he stands arm in arm with her

On the threshold of their future

Saying those words that she so wants to hear him say

Forever, for always, I do

She casually sips the wine

As she dreams

Sitting alone in the small café

They call their place

The opposing chair as empty as her heart

She doesn’t notice the waiter approach

“Do you want some more wine?” he offers

She dreamily whispers

…I do

Until there are none by Linda V

Mar2

Jump out of the truck

Knees almost buckle…maybe I am getting too old for this

Think of the ones we’ve saved

Keep moving

Notice the tiny girl on the driveway

Tattered dress, dirty face, sad eyes

Have you seen a doggie?   Her eyes flood with light

Through the shadows of what they have seen

Stretches her arm out – over there

We trudge through the mud – aware of the dark chill of the wind

Something moves beyond the house

Cautiously we approach – hurried anticipation of what awaits us

There she is, an emaciated, anxious female dog, curling into a ball

The only clue she is alive – her belly rises and falls faster on our approach

She attempts a growl, low and raw, but she is weak and tired

Belly extended she cowers and braces for what she fears

Human hands

Extend out to gently stroke her swollen pregnant belly

Now into the crate – away from this place

What is it to run free, be wild, have a home, be loved?

Jump back in the truck

Knees creak, keep moving, keep saving

Until there are none

One Another by Linda V

Mar2

One born in a home, to welcoming hands and gentle faces

Another born in a burned out car, abandoned in a field

One raised with his mother and siblings in a home filled with love

Another fighting for food, fighting for warmth, fighting for life

One watches each of this siblings leave for other homes with happy strangers

Another watches his brother, then his sister, then his mother wither away

One plays with toys and gets love from all around him

Another plays with metal shards in the discarded car

One lives out his days in happiness while the children around him grow

Another struggles every day, never even knowing the feeling of grass on his feet

Both leave this world and carry on over the rainbow bridge

One finds another and then run together with all the others

Into the field of dreams, the soft grass and endless love they all deserve