I don’t exist

Except in molecules and blood cells

Life saving, not life changing

I don’t exist

To be nailed to the cross you think I will carry

I don’t exist in the memory you have

When we sat together under the sink in the cupboard

Mom snapped the shot with its blinding flash

But all I saw was the glow from the light around you

I worshiped you then

Wanted to be like you and have what you have

Long after you left my Christmas presents unopened out of sight

And now

Now as you lay dying

Even though I don’t exist

I am told to stand up for you

To lay down for you

To save you and to shut up about it

We are blood

But yours is poison

I have the light now

I know that this is one gift you can’t leave unopened

Even though

I don’t exist